Saturday, July 19, 2014

Society's Thoughts On Beauty

Oh Hi!

Today I am discussing something serious as I'm one of those people who cares about important things. 

At first I thought I would make a video on this topic but I wanted to give it more thought and not just ramble on about it for a few minutes and then realize that what I had been saying didn't make sense at all.

What I want to discuss is society's thoughts on beauty because I don't fit into that ideal and I never will. 
I want to put a disclaimer here that this is from a bigger girl's perspective and I can't talk about what it's like feeling like you're TOO skinny to be beautiful, but I'm in no way putting the skinnier people down, I'm just simply standing up for my people, the ones who feel "too big" for the society.

I've never been exactly skinny nor the most beautiful girl out there, and I've always kind of known that. But it didn't really bother me until I grew older and realized that I wasn't society's ideal of beauty, which kind of hurt as it made me think I'm less than the skinny girls or the pretty girls.

I struggled for a long time with that issue and it wasn't until recently that I really stopped giving a damn. I just got so tired of sucking in my gut every time my stomach was on show and I got so tired of having to wear makeup to be pretty and I got so tired of feeling like I'm less than all the other pretty and skinny girls. But I know that I'm damn fucking gorgeous and I don't need to have a thigh gap to be beautiful.

When did our society, the society that WE ARE, become so obsessed with thigh gaps or rib bones or long straight hair? I don't want to be apart of that society that makes girls feel that they have to have long straight hair to be beautiful, I don't want to be apart of that society that makes ME feel like I need to be so skinny that my rib bones show in order for me to be considered "beautiful" and "perfect". I don't want to please society and all of y'all if I have to have a thigh gap to be considered "worth it". 

I'm so sick of hearing my friends, my beautiful friends, say that they don't feel happy anymore because they're not skinny or because they got compared to their other friends, their "skinnier and prettier" friends. Because I know that pain, I know how the words echo at the back of your head throughout the whole day, and I know how it sucks to suck in your gut.

What I want people to understand is that it does NOT matter if you have fat arms or big thighs because you are NOT your body. You might have big thighs but at least you're a wonderful and kind person (unless you're a murderer then I'm so sorry this doesn't apply to you). I'd rather be the fattest person in the world but a nice and caring person.

Fat is just a word, but somehow it has become an insult, so thank you for that. But that word will never stop you from making it to the top. That word will never define you as a human being.

That word might be thrown at me and I know damn well what I am, but I won't let it define me. Because it doesn't matter how much I weight because I know I'm a good person.

I wrote a poem at 2am...

I know how all the words echo at the back of your head 
getting louder and louder as you cry into your pillow,

I know how every teardrop is a reflection of the cuts in your heart
from all the words people said,

And I know every slash of your wrist is to take away the pain from the inside,
it's to stop the words from echoing.

But Honey, every word they've said doesn't mean anything,
It's only a reflection of themselves.

Big thighs will never define who you are,

Big arms will never define who you are,

The size of your waist will never define who you are,

But the dreams that you have and the words that you say 
and the smiles that you make will define you.

So shine your light and share your wisdoms with others
because you are damn gorgeous and you are worth it all.

I'll leave you with that poem and a video that I saw some weeks ago, which honestly made me cry.

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