Sunday, July 6, 2014

Men; I am NOT your dog or your sex toy

Oh Hi!

Two blogposts in a day? I think YES. This is a long and serious one, so grab yourself some tea and cookies and sit back and be furious with me because this one is written in pure anger and disgust.

So before I get into what I want to talk about, I just want to explain what made me write this blogpost. For those who follow me on twitter, you might already know but for those who don't, I shall explain.

So I was having a sleepover with my bestie Betti yesterday, and in the middle of the night (at about 2am) we decided to "sneak out" and go walk around, because quite frankly, that's one of the greatest things you can do with a friend, especially as then you don't have to whisper like you might have to do inside. So we went on a walk and we see someone riding a bike coming towards us, but ignore it. I looked at the person, which turned out to be a boy about 14-16 years old, like you do when you pass someone when walking. We kept walking and then he had the guts to catcall us (catcalling means whistling as if a girl would be a dog). We ignored it but got mad of course, because as I said, WE ARE NOT DOGS YOU FUCKING PRICK. He then screamed something that not even God could understand because this boy could probably not talk, and then he continued catcalling us. By this point we were about 50 meters away from him but furious and adrenaline had kicked in, so Betti turned around and put the middle finger up in the air, which I then also did. 
Now I don't know about you, but in any other country, the middle finger means "you fuck right off" and "do not bother us" with lots of other cursewords in there. But apparently not for this boy. 

We continued walking and soon realized that he was following us. We tried ignoring it because you convince yourself that he will soon pass by and just whistle and say something stupid and then continue his sad life. But no, he just kept following us. He was literally 2 meters behind us just slowly riding his bike after us but we didn't quite understand how close he was. I took my phone and gave it to Betti and told her to tell him that if he doesn't leave we'll call the cops (I don't speak finnish so if I would've tried to say that he would've probably just laughed and kept following us). She turned around, and I did too, and that's when we realize that this prick is 2 meters behind us, staring with big horny eyes at our butts. She told him that she's going to call the cops if he doesn't leave and then she turned around. I was still facing him staring him right in the eyes and as he started going away, without saying one more word, I just screamed "YEAH GO FUCK YOURSELF". 

Thinking back at it, it probably wasn't so dangerous and he probably wouldn't even have had the guts to touch us, but to think that someone has the NERVE to first catcall us, as if we were your dogs, and then FOLLOW US for more than five minutes straight. No, I'm not here for that kind of bullshit.

We continued walking as he had left, and we we're of course a little afraid that he would still continue following us. Adrenaline was still running through our bodies so I was just furious, saying every curseword written in the books of swedish, finnish and english dictionaries and Betti was also pissed as hell. Then we got closer to a house were some men were being drunk and loud. As we got closer Betti saw how one of the men pointed at us and looked really happy like "oh yeah here we have some girls to rape". 
Now I don't know if you know this about me but I HATE drunk people, I'm literally so scared of them that if I see a drunk person I'd rather turn around and go another way, but here was no other way, and I was also thinking that if we show them our fear they'll think we're easy to get. 
So we kept walking and as we passed by the house the same man who had pointed at us started "coughing" and trying to get us to look over there and come over to him. Do we really look that stupid to you? This is when fear kicks in, because there were more than just one little boy, these were men. Shitfaced drunk, but still, men. We kept walking because I didn't want them to know that I was, in fact, scared to death. As we got out of sight, however, we ran for our lives, to get the adrenaline to leave our bodies and to make sure they wouldn't be able to catch up so easily if they decided to follow us.

As we kept walking the adrenaline left our bodies and the reality of the situations kicked in. Not only had it just happened once, but twice. And to think that it was in Betti's own neighbourhood. It freaked us out. So, as the adrenaline left our bodies we felt like throwing up and crying. I was furious, scared and utterly disgusted, because people only get followed in movies. It's not supposed to happen in real life.

And with that long story over with, I am now here to talk to you about making us girls, and women, feel like sex objects and feel like we're not safe.

First of all, I don't understand how anyone can POSSIBLY think that a woman would react in a good way to catcalling. You are LITERALLY treating us as if we were dogs, and you think that we would accept it and come to you and go "oh you want to fuck, I want to fuck too". There might be one or two women who would actually do that, but the majority of us get freaked out, and angry. We. Are. NOT. Dogs. We. Are. NOT. Here. To. Please. YOU. In fact, if it wasn't for a woman you wouldn't even be alive, and this is how you thank us?

Secondly, screaming stuff after us. Look, I understand that you can't think of anything else to do than to scream harrassing things, but try not to. What satisfaction do you get out of screaming stupid things like "NICE ASS" or "GREAT TITS" to someone? Do you feel cool now? Newsflash, you are in fact PATHETIC. If you would only look around, and see that EVERYONE is feeling sorry for the way you behave, because you act like a three year old.

Third, FOLLOWING US. Yes, thanks, I am flattered that you're so amazed by my fabulous behind that you follow us for five minutes straight, but I'd rather you'd just go "Yo, wanna fuck?" because then I'd at least be able to react in some kind of way. You were just literally behind us, not doing ANYTHING. Do you realize how pathetic that makes you look? And the fact that it's somewhat probably hilarious to you that you freak someone out and scar them for the rest of their lives make me want to stab you so hard and cut your penis off so that you can STOP THINKING WITH IT.

I am so damn tired of hearing my friend in Helsinki tell me that she once again got harrassed by a man, or a group of men, and I am so tired of people blaming the WOMEN for it. We are NOT responsible for someone following us, we are NOT responsible for someone catcalling us, and we are DAMN NOT RESPONSIBLE IF SOMEONE RAPED US BECAUSE WE WORE TOO REVEALING CLOTHES. 

Instead of teaching girls to cover up, teach guys not to scare the shit out of us and harrass us. 
And if you say that we might be asking for that boy to follow us or for those men to call us over, you are wrong. We were in sweats, I was wearing a damn long hoodie and our hair were messed up and dirty. We were NOT asking that boy to follow us and we were NOT asking for those men to try to call us over.

Now, if we would've called the cops on that boy, we would have most likely gotten the blame. "What are you girls doing outside at this time?" "You shouldn't go out at that time, it's dangerous" etc etc. The guy would've gotten praised and he wouldn't have had to do anything, because somehow GUYS are allowed to be out at that time, but not women, because IT'S TOO DANGEROUS. DAMN  RIGHT IT'S TOO DANGEROUS WHEN YOU TEACH BOYS THAT IT IS OK TO HARRASS GIRLS, DAMN RIGHT IT'S DANGEROUS WHEN SOME BOYS JUST DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF NO, AND THE MEANING OF GO AWAY. 

Women are NOT sex objects, we were not born to please men, we were not born to sit inside all day and never go out because we're too scared. You came out of a damn vagina, which only women have, and if that woman wouldn't have pushed you out of that damn vagina you wouldn't be here harrassing us. Soooooooo, my conclusion, respect us damn women, we're the reason you're alive.

Also, when you catcall us and scream ugly things after us, think about how you would feel if your mother came home one day and said that she no longer wants to go out because she got harrassed by some stupid men. Yeah, you're going to be that stupid man one day. Congratulations, what a great choice in life.

What also freaked me out is that that boy was young, he looked like three but was probably 14-16 years old. If you do that already at such a young age, you'll be rapist before you're 23. And the fact that he felt that it was OK to follow us, even when we had showed him not to, just makes me wonder what this world has become. I pray for Jesus to come down every day so no more girls have to be harrassed, so no more girls have to be raped. Because this is not a way of life. Especially when someone so YOUNG does it. Your penis isn't even fully developed yet, stop thinking with it.

I do want to thank those guys and men who are not like the ones I've mentioned above. You give me hope in the male population which is sometimes really hard to have. Please teach your fellow friends not to harrass, and if you ever feel the urge to, just remember that I once thanked you for not being like that. Not every man on this earth is a rapist or a creep, but it slowly starts to feel like that. So if you've never catcalled a girl, raise your hand so I can date you. 

And to those who do those things, I have no words for you. You are a pathetic little loser who will NEVER be anything if you continue being like that. We are not your sex toy. It's OK to look at us, but to catcall and harrass, no thanks.

As my friend Jade said "Women are horny too but we're not forcing ourselves to every human being that walks by us and like men go nuts when we even show a little skin like legs or shoulders or back or cleavage but woman stay sane even though men walk around without shirts on all summer and then men are like 'women dress slutty so they're asking for it' but um, look into a mirror dude, you're naked".

To all the girls who have ever been harrassed or raped by guys or men; you're the victim, not the men. You did nothing wrong and you didn't ask for it, no matter what someone says. It's OK to hate those guys for the rest of your life, but just remember that you did not do anything wrong, not even if you were halfnaked. You did NOT ask for it.

This was a long 'un but maybe I made some sense in it all. If you made it to the end, congratulations, I am giving you a virtual hug and 10 points in life. Love you guys♥

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