Today isn't a cheery kinda post day. No, it is now two years since my grandpa (dad's dad) died and I still find myself being sad over the fact that he's gone.
Not everyday, not that often but when it's Christmas and I know we would've visited him or when it's his birthday or father's day or when we go to the graveyard. Some days ago it hit me that his damn body is under my feet when I stand on the graveyard and that didn't feel good at all.
A body of someone that I loved is underneath my feet and you can't take it up from there.
Grandpa was great. He survived 3-5 years of war between Russia and Finland and he never got shot. He came back from the war with no scars, other than those in his heart and mind of course.
But he remained cheery and loving.
He got 7 children with a woman he loved who he had to see go through cancer and then die at only 60+ years old(I never met grandma). Even though all of that happened he still remained happy and he was the bestest ever.
I remember when I was little and we visited him he would always have candy and I would sit in his lap and he would sing for me and we would sing together.
When I started playing piano I used to play for him and he would always be so proud of me.
Even though he had over 10 grandchildren he loved each and every one of us so dearly and he joked and discussed with us.
As I grew older it wasn't cool to go see your grandpa anymore and I only saw him on family meetings. I did show him I loved him though but I regret not visiting him more often and just sit and talk with him about life. That would've been nice.
I saw him for the last time 24th December 2011 and one month later he passed away. If he would've lived through 2012 he would've been 87 years old.
When I saw him for the last time he lived at this elders' home and couldn't even walk. He didn't hear that good and he just sat and talked to himself saying the words he always said "Life is wonderful" and "oh yes, it is a miracle". He knew he was gonna die and he still thought that life was wonderful. I call that being very awesome.
I hugged him goodbye when we left and I knew that I wouldn't see him any more after that.
He soon ended up in hospital and was laying in bed for a couple of weeks before he passed away. I am thankful that he died a peaceful way and just started sleeping forever because he wouldn't have deserved to go through any horrible pains.
He was the first close one who passed away so I took his death extremely hard. And it's still not easy to think of the fact that he's gone, because he should see me get married. He should've seen me get confirmed and he should see me perform for people. But he will see it all from heaven above and I do believe that he's looking down on me at this very moment.
On Grandpa's funeral I sang Miley Cyrus' song "I miss you" that she wrote for her grandpa and my words before I started singing was "Grandpa always sung for me, so I thought I would sing for him"
And I will continue singing for him through the rest of my life.
Grandpa and my family in November 2011